Questions Answered; No Solutions

This month we finally received an answer to our 6 year journey of infertility. The bottom line is, it’s a lot of me and a little of him.  Though we received this answer, I’m not sure what it means or where we will go from here. Since we adopted our son, our whole understanding of family has changed. We love him to the moon and back – beyond anything we had ever imagined.  We can’t imagine loving a human being more than him. So we have been asking ourselves… does biology matter to us?  Do we need a little clone of ourselves?  Without a doubt we want more children. We just have to think things through a little more purposefully. We know now that natural pregnancy will be very unlikely for us so leaving it up to “fate” is somewhat out of the question.  We can’t just “try” to have a baby, we have to really make it a goal financially and emotionally. We have to fill out paperwork and applications. We need background checks and social worker visits. We have to go through the process of being approved as parents once again. That is the world of adoption.

We could also reenter the world of fertility treatments. Again, not without expenses – emotional and financial.  So much poking and prodding – and at the end of the day even Vegas would laugh at our odds of success.  Infertility is not for the faint of heart.Infertility

Do you know how many forms of adoption exist? We can choose from domestic infant, foster adopt (different from just fostering), international adoption, and even embryo adoption! We could also go with sperm or egg donor – which is another form of adoption. Within each of these forms of adoption are intricate laws that vary from state to state and even month to month.  So when you sign up to adopt – you are in for a lesson you never knew you needed.

There is so much loss wrapped up in adoption that it is unfair to ask a child to be thankful” – Brooke Randolph

My husband honestly said to me the other day – “I just want to have a child the least stressful way.” Well, for us, that is not an option; it’s all stressful. There is not an easy choice. With fertility treatments the cost is high and the odds of success are low. With adoption the costs are high and the odds of success are high, but the relationship with the birth family is forever and can be stressful. Our child will have questions as they grow up and it may not be easy. Their loss hurts my heart. Though we have a great relationship with our sons birth mother through open adoption, what if all of the children we adopt don’t have such a good experience with their birth families? What if there is jealousy between the children? What if there is hurt feelings? What if I can’t handle it?

What if? x10000000000

It’s a roller coaster of emotions for life.


Questioning my sanity … again

I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday.  My husband may call it a mental explosion… A hot messtrain wreck.… A total disaster… a… well… you get the idea.

My business fail of the week: 
I had investment property I was under contract with. A hot property.  This would fund my retirement kind of property.  (Maybe the kind of retirement that invovled a “nice” van down by a “nice” river in a town with an “affordable” ski hill… but still)

Well, I made a mistake and the contract fell through. It was my fault.  I missed a key ingredient.  This is Denver, CO – the market is on fire.  These properties are few and far between – especially at that price point!!  I’ve literally been kicking myself for the past 24 hours.. not to mention I’ve been quite a bear to be around.

I’ve been a real estate investor for 7 years now. I’ve flipped 6 properties and currently own 2 investment properties. Just six more properties from now and my husband and I could experience some pretty amazing life changes. There is no reason I can’t get there in 3 years, but it’s possible it may take 10.  I’m not a patient person – clearly.

Something happened today that put things into perspective for me. I received 2 checks in the mail. One check from my property management company and another check from a new business venture I recently started. Just one of the checks covered my losses in this latest mental breakdown deal loss. I’m going to be just fine.

Self Doubt SUCKS!

Why is it that I doubt myself so much?! I believe the reason is because I am going against the grain of a majority of American society. I am choosing to work for me – regardless of the outcome. It wasn’t an easy decision to make – no more security of that bi-weekly check, no more co-workers (I’m talking about the ones you look forward to seeing everyday), and no more structure.

I HAVE to be the one to make SURE I get paid.  I HAVE to find and keep good business partners and associates.  I HAVE to be structured.  I am a bit eccentric.  Structure is a challenge for me.  Yet her I am, passionate about working for myself – CEO of my own crazy town.  I get distracted easily.  I’ve got a million ideas running through my mind and in real estate (where everyone is an expert) I get approached by many people on what is the BEST way to go about it.  Well I have scratched together a “best way” for me and my family. And somehow – I’ve managed to do OK.

When I look back on each property I’ve worked with, NONE of them have been perfect, but ALL of them have taught me a lesson and a vast majority I have profited from.

1. Don’t trust the self proclaimed “expert”

2. Seriously – #1

3. Find REALLY good help – people that are honest, I mean REALLY honest.. not just on Sunday.

4. Did I mention #1?

5. Find an amazing team – even then not everything will go your way, but you’ll have fun doing it.

6. Ask about the details.  Sometimes trust isn’t enough in business.

7. FOR CRAP SAKE! BE PATIENT!! (I’m yelling at myself here)

(All the experts have 7 steps for success so I was required to conform.)

Bottom Line. ANYONE can work for themselves. There are a million and one opportunities out there that are yet to be discovered.  As many times as you’ve heard it – the market is not saturated.  It doesn’t matter what market I’m talking about.


I always ask myself,

“What is the WORST that can happen?”

If it doesn’t involve death or jail time… What are you waiting for?



If you choose good mentors, you will succeed.

If you exercise patience, you will succeed.

If you exercise PASSION, you will succeed.