My spirits (aka angels, consious, guides, ect), of late, have been somewhat forceful and put themselves in the lead. So much so that they woke me up tonight and “forced” me to write this.
I’ve been delaying writing this one but they keep me awake at night pushing me to share. Nothing like another crazy Sheila story. You are welcome.
The last month has been quite eventful and I’m starting to pay attention. I’ve been seeing an “energy therapist” for a year now. She has helped me understand my path in life and really tune into my body, mind, and spirit. Since seeing her I’ve been capable of manifesting incredible things, including my daughter, breast milk, amazing friends, and now pregnancy. (See what I’m doing there, manifesting, that’s what)
My body and soul have been pushing me to dig deeper. My body is literally speaking to me through pain, tiredness, energy, dreams, and literal voices in my head.
I’ve been asking my body what it needs to be fulfilled. I heard, be strong. So I hired a personal trainer and got strong. I loved it! I became obsessed with becoming strong. Then I pushed harder, went longer and my body said REST. I resisted.
I cannot rest! I must be strong. I must lose weight. I must gain muscle. Lose fat. Yes, that’s what it wants. I stopped listening and kept DOING. Soon my body retaliated. My back began to ache so i worked around it.
Then my knee goes out. I rehab quickly again and jump back into it. I went to my energy healer. She said REST. I continued to train. GET STRONG is what I wanted.
Then, my back went out so bad that I couldn’t move. Bulging disc with nerve pain shooting down my leg. I couldn’t even lift my baby girl. I had time to think about my situation. I returned to my spirits. They said REST! I was frustrated. First you say get strong then you say rest. What the hell does that even mean?? Am I talking to myself here? Oh, I am? Well, it’s not the first time.
In the time my back was healing, I overcame some fears and helped a friend in labor, I was rocked by the news that another friend had terminal cancer leaving her young son behind, and rocked by more news that my home town lost a young man. I reflected on many of my friends suffering. A friend who lost a child a year ago. A friend who is dealing with her childs persiatant brain tumor. All this suffering just within my circle. I’m paying attention.
God, what are you telling me? What do you mean by REST?
When my people are in need my reaction is to fix it. When my body is broke my reaction is to fix it. My mind was racing… how can I fix these things? I started to develop a rash. Seriously my body is speaking to me and I just keep DOING. This rash is where I have gotten shingles in the past. It was a warning. I had to stop my mind. Its been 10 years since I’ve had shingles. Why now? I’ve been under much worse stress than this moment.
My fertility nurse called to say a few of my blood tests came back wonkey and I needed to start on some medications. These are blood tests I’ve had done several times in the last few years and always come back normal. My angels are messing with my test results now. I should probably pay attention.
I’m listening now. REST.
Rest your mind, they said. Open your eyes to what is happening around you and rest your mind. Allow the spirit to work within you. Muscle strength is good, but I need to also strengthen my soul. Love my people. Love myself. Surround myself with souls that build me up. Surround myself with energy that brings me peace.
So I meditate and pray in my sanctuary. My war room. My meditation room. With my Bible and my angel cards and my crystals and my journal. God almighty with all His angels are here guiding me, calming me, and strengthening me.
With the help of meditation, the beginnings of that rash is gone. I’d say it’s unbelievable, but I know better. I no longer have pain in my knee or my back. With in 10 days of having a bulging disc I have NO PAIN. Rest. I’m learning to just BE THERE for my friends as they and I go through life altering events. I’m learning to BE HERE for my body. I’m learning to be gentle and kind with myself. I am no longer in fix it mode. I am just here, listening.
Now that my mind is clear, I can see the road signs guiding me down my God given path. I always thought my path included money and great success, but great success is in the eye of the beholder and money is just a tool that comes and goes. I have both.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be. It has taken me years to understand this. I am RIGHT where I am supposed to be. I am not missing out on anything, I am living in the now. I have amazing things ahead of me that I am very excited about; but today I am resting, loving my little ones, lifting and loving my husband, soaking in the energy and love of my dear friends and learning to love and trust my mind and body.
I will not race to my next destination. I will sit here and soak in the gifts that God has lovingly bestowed upon me in His perfect timing.
Patience is a difficult practice. But it is just that, a practice.
I know this was a little off from what I have posted in the past, but I want to be able to sleep tonight and I am told by sharing these thoughts, I can rest.
Thank you for getting to the end! I hope a part of this resonated with you this morning. Thank you for being a part of my life and supporting me in all the ways that you do.
With my deepest Love and Gratitude,